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Short Story The left side The lights turned red, and she had to stop. But stopping the car was not part of her plans, because it would give her time to think; and thinking was not part of her plans either. Her head was aching too much, as if the whole world could be inside her thoughts, and the sensation of being betrayed would not live her body for a long time. She had been betrayed by her destiny, and she could think of nothing else but revenge. As she thought of everything which had happened to her during the last two hours, she realized how a very brief period of time could have the power of destroying all she had been constructing along her whole life. It was interesting to see how things could change in an instant, and it was on this change that she wanted to revenge. As her eyes looked to the noisily avenue around her through the mist of her tears, she felt as if she were a monster, because there could be no other name for a creature which thought of revenging on a person who hasn’t even been born yet. The sun was falling down, and it beautifully colored the sky with red and pink. There were birds sitting on the trees which stood by the street, singing around her as if they were telling her not to be scared. As she looked in the mirror of her car, she could see no sign of life in her eyes, there was only the emptiness of a calm sky. She opened her purse, trying to control her trembling hands as she hold through her pale fingers that little piece of paper which had got the power of transforming her life completely. She fixed her eyes on the last words one more time, as if she hoped that what she had firs read could have miraculously changed in the last five minutes. But as she tried to convince herself that it was only a nightmare, the word she was looking at started echoing in her mind: Positive. This though penetrated her brain as a knife, and all the memories she had about the last two months ran through her head, like the plot of an impressionist play, in which she was the protagonist of those disconnected scenes. Melissa could perfectly remember the day she had met Conrad, and she could also remember how she knew then that, whatever could happen to them, they would always be together. She had liked him from the first time she had looked into his eyes and had seen the January sun drawing her picture on them, while the wind softly kissed his hair. He had said that it was fate, and as he offered her his arm it seemed to her as if the world had stopped and nothing else mattered. From that moment on she knew deeply in her heart that he was the one she had been waiting for; and like the roses that surrounded them at the park that evening, which were opening themselves to feel the sun touching their petals, her soul was opening itself to feel his love touching its essence. For two months and five days she had been the happiest creature in earth. Each minute she spent by his side gave her a hundred years of a splendid life, which she was sure she would live with him. As she remembered the touch of his hands, it seemed, for a thin moment, that all the joy which used to fill her heart was flowing through her slim body again. When they were together, words were not enough to say what that feeling was, because they have no meaning at all; and so they didn’t speak, they only felt it. And it was much more intense than any sentimental speech; it was poetry with no words. In a few weeks she belonged to him, body and soul, and then he could wait no more. There was no need for him to ask her to be his wife, but he did, although he already knew the answer. Their union would happen three months later, at St. Paul’s Cathedral, the place she had chosen to celebrate her eternal devotion to Conrad. People used to say that their passion was too much strong to be kept inside their hearts, and that it seemed that the whole world was submitted to their feelings. But what did people know about feelings? Then February came and, as the days passed, that strong feeling began to change inside her heart, until the day she looked at him and realized that there was neither wind in his hair nor sun in his eyes anymore. When she looked into them there was nothing but them. She knew then that she could not be inside him, because he was not inside her anymore. And she got desperate when she found out that for him it was love, but for her it had been passion. It was over, and she felt her heart totally empty, as if somebody had just taken life off it. She turned on the keys of her car and after two or three drinks she finally accepted that here was no reason for existing anymore. It was then that she looked through the people who were dancing, and her eyes met Pierre’s; and she felt life flowing through her veins again. On that night she was, for one more time, the happiest creature on earth, because Pierre was by her side. But now it was March, and April was a beautiful month to say “I do”, even though she didn’t; after all, words had no meaning. She had not been happy since that night, but until this Thursday she had at least been alive. She could not hold the tears as she looked one more time to that paper which still remained in her hands, the only concrete witness of her destiny’s betrayal. Conrad was tranquil waiting for their union to come, and Pierre was gone; he would never know he almost had a kid. With this thought she felt sick, and her heart started beating fast as she looked at the faces of people who passed by her car on that crossroad. She didn’t want to stop, because it would give her time to think; but she had stopped, and she had though. And now she knew what she would do. It had been passion for her, but for Conrad it was still love, and it would be nice to have someone by her side after this evening, even though he would have no idea of what had happened. On the right side it was her way to the needlewoman, and she would finally choose her dress; but that could wait. On the left side it was her way for revenging on her destiny; after all, she had been betrayed, and there was no reason for keeping that witness inside her body. Nobody would ever know about what she was going to do. The cars around her started to accelerate, and the lights turned green. Now it was the time, and she had to choose between her life and that witness’s one; in one second she was taking the left side. As she drove to her freedom, she felt happy for Conrad, and she thought about the other children she would give him; they would be legitimate children. Although she insisted on repeating to herself that she was doing the right thing, she was sure that the guilt for the choice she had just made would remain in her heart and that it would fill her soul forever.  Escrito por lilás às 20h31[] [envie esta mensagem] [link] Palavras - 20/05/02 "Se eu olhar pra você e disser que te amo seu eu sorrir pra você e disser que te adoro ou se eu tocar seus lábios e disser que te quero... se eu chorar por você de tanta saudade ou se eu chamar por você de tanta vontade se eu morrer de tanto sentir a tua falta... se for apenas um sonho a magia entre nós o calor de nós dois todo abraço apertado cada beijo trocado... se for apenas um sonho a alegria que me invade quando estou do teu lado a felicidade que sinto explodir em meu peito ao te ver chegar a vontade de ter você aqui a cada minuto... se for tudo um sonho deixe que eu durma, deixe que eu sonhe e que eu viva pra tornar esse sonho cada dia mais e mais real. Mas tudo isso são palavras, apenas palavras tentando explicar aquilo que não se explica, não se define... apenas se sente." Escrito por lilás às 09h54[] [envie esta mensagem] [link] esperanças Se ele apenas olhasse e isse o que eu vejo e sentisse o que eu sinto e quisesse o que eu quero e aceitasse o meu desejo... Se por apenas mais um minuto nossos corações batessem no mesmo ritmo e nossas mentes se cruzassem e nossos sentidos fossem um só mesmo que nosso corpo não o fosse... e nem seria preciso que o fosse... Escrito por lilás às 09h19[] [envie esta mensagem] [link] agora Se ele apenas soubesse que sonhei com seu beijo e que o resto do dia só foram memórias... que a lembrança do toque não saiu da cabeça e a boca pediu e a pele exigia seu corpo junto ao meu... e os olhos tentaram , procuraram, não encontraram... mas não desistiram...não ainda... Escrito por lilás às 09h13[] [envie esta mensagem] [link] |
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